If you squeeze it, it oozes greasy tears. The Wet Burger ($9.95), named thusly because it is very wet, is the size of a McDonald’s kids meal hamburger the patty smells strongly of cumin but curiously tastes like absolutely nothing. The triangle of baklava placed on top of additional mounds of whipped cream is stale but salty, which is great because at least salty is a flavor. The Saltbae Baklava Shake ($24.95), which is served in a glass covered with tasteless pistachio shards, doesn’t even have the audacity to taste like vanilla, which I suppose it is intended to be, though I only suspect this because it was made into a frothy white substance with the texture of thick water. “OK, I understand that this is a restaurant based on a meme, which should be enough to stay away,” said one Yelp reviewer, “but the experience I just had far surpassed how bad I ever imagined it could be.” (There are plans to expand to Miami next.) And the reviews are, like the food, not great. His newest culinary experience, located near New York’s Union Square, recently opened after being under construction for around a year. He also owns the Nusr-Et chain, which is expensive and apparently terrible. This isn’t even Gökçe’s first American restaurant.

But going to #SaltBae is not really about the food, even though finishing a meal there constitutes some kind of personal victory over your own body and instincts and mouth. For food to be unpleasant, it has to taste like anything. But what’s really surprising about #SaltBae, the new restaurant from Turkish chef and human meme Nusret Gökçe, is that the food doesn’t even taste bad. No one goes to a restaurant predicated on the owner’s virality anticipating an impressive culinary experience.

Squeeze burger